A New Kind of Normal

A New Kind of Normal

Carol Kent has lived every parent's nightmare. A New Kind of Normal begins with the story of that horrible night when Carol and Gene learned their son had been arrested, but it doesn't end there...

Between a Rock and a Grace Place

Between a Rock and a Grace Place

From Carol Kent comes a riveting journey of facing the impassable obstacles of life and discovering the last thing ever expected -- the sweet spot of grace. Order now

YouTube

YouTube

Carol has a YouTube channel!

When I Lay My Isaac Down

When I Lay My Isaac Down

What would you do if God called you to completely entrust your son or daughter to Him? God used Isaac to test Abraham's faith in Genesis 22. How will you respond if He pushes your faith to the brink of falling apart?

Between a Rock and a Grace Place

19 Nov

The new book is finally here and I pray it will be an encouragement to you.  I was asked to respond to several questions about the new release for a blog tour and I thought you might enjoy reading answers to several questions about this project:

Tell us about the Christmas gift you received. How did it help you to find grace in the middle of a seemingly hopeless situation?

Two weeks before Christmas our doorbell rang at 9:15 p.m. It was dark outside and by the time my husband, Gene, joined me at the front door, we were surprised to find no one there. It was already dark, but my eyes fell on a large, exquisitely wrapped gift. The card on top said, “Mom.” Initially, it felt like a bad joke. Nine years earlier our son, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy had been arrested for murdering his wife’s first husband and he was in prison serving a life-without-the-possibility-of-parole sentence.

However, I am a “Mom” and the package was left on my doorstep, so I opened it. The note appeared to be in my son’s unique handwriting. The note expressed his deep love for me and his gratefulness for what I had done to help him since his arrest. He said a “friend” had helped him deliver the surprise. Opening the box, I discovered a gorgeous russet-colored silk jacket—and it fit me perfectly.

That night I discovered something new about God and something I had forgotten about myself. He loves to interject divine surprises into our lives. His timing is always perfect, but it had been a while since I had been surprised by joy, wonder, and grace in the middle of one of the tight spots of life.

What are “grace places,” and how can hurting people in need find them?

All of us experience tight spots when life turns out differently from our dream. When we face the overwhelming obstacles of life, we can experience the last thing we ever expect—the sweet spot of grace. Grace places have a variety of forms, but some include:

·         Receiving love when we don’t deserve it

·         Finding safety in the middle of a fearful and uncertain experience

·         Being comforted by friends and family (people who are extensions of God’s love)

·         Experiencing the embrace of God when we have run out of strength and courage?

 “Grace means the free, unmerited, unexpected love of God, and all the benefits, delights, and comforts which flow from it.”  (R.P.C. Hanson)

How important are contentment and gratitude in finding grace and peace?

My son, Jason, is teaching me that I need to choose contentment and thanksgiving in all things. As an inmate in a maximum-security prison, all of his personal items must fit in one small one-foot-high and one-and a half-feet-deep and two-and-a half feet long steel lockbox. He has learned to live comfortably with very little, which brings him a surprising sense of peace.

When I was visiting him one weekend I asked how he holds on to hope in the middle of a life-without-the-possibility-of-parole sentence. He said, “Mom, I have a gratitude list. Whenever the clouds of depression try to discouragement, I get out a piece of paper and write down everything I have to be thankful for. I’m thankful I have two parents who will be my advocates for as long as they live. The average number of years a lifer gets visits is five years and then no one comes anymore. I’m also thankful I can be a missionary on a compound that houses up to 1,700 men.” I’m learning from Jason that I find contentment when I choose to be thankful and when I invest my time in helping other people.

What are some unexpected gestures of kindness you’ve received in the past, and how did they help you through difficult times?

A couple of years ago Jason’s appendix ruptured and he was rushed from the prison to a civilian hospital. Gene and I were not allowed to know where he was and I prayed for someone to care for him as a mother would. He had two armed guards in his room at all times. Nurse Betty was assigned to Jason’s care. She treated him with respect and extraordinary care—and I knew she was a direct answer to my prayers.

A group of people who called themselves our “Stretcher Bearers” received an e-mailed monthly update on how to help with our needs. We were blessed with meals, cards, and financial gifts, often just before we needed extra funds for the next legal payment. These amazing people waited with us for two and a half years through seven postponements of the trial.

How has your definition of adventure changed over the years, and why is it important to retain adventure in your life, despite your situation?

True adventure is seeing the potential of living for things that matter in the middle of your current circumstances. We had the adventure of launching a nonprofit organization that helps to empower our son to facilitate classes by having books and DVD teaching series sent to the prison. We also have the adventure of reaching out to other people who are in crisis, which brings purpose and deep meaning to our lives.

There is a theme of surprise throughout the book. What is one of the greatest surprises you’ve had?

The powerful story of Tammy Wilson and Matthew Ben Rodriguez is in this book. Tammy contacted me after I spoke at an event she attended because my son is incarcerated in the same prison where Matt, the man who killed her mother thirteen years ago is incarcerated. She had been praying for someone to lead Matt to Christ and asked if Jason would try to meet him. It turned out that Jason and Matt were already friends and this amazing story is one of forgiveness, redemption, and restoration that can only be explained in the supernatural dimension.

Between a Rock and a Grace Place releases 10 years after your son, Jason, was sentenced to life in a maximum security prison and includes excerpts from Jason’s letters. Can you tell us how he’s doing now?

He has just taken his 8th group of men through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University Course and he will be facilitating a biblical counseling class on marriage and family this fall. He has a prayer group of twelve inmates who fast and pray for the needs of each other and their families. Prison is a depressing, dark, and sad place, but Jason is living for things that will outlast him.

When you received news about Jason’s clemency hearing being denied, how did you respond?

I wailed like a baby, sobbed, felt angry, hurt, and disappointed in God. Then we saw Jason a day after this devastating news. He was calm and very much at peace. He hugged me as I wept and said, “Mom, this case isn’t about having the best attorney or about having the favor of Florida’s top executive political leaders. If I am ever allowed to walk in freedom in this lifetime, it will be because God miraculously opened a door that was closed.” My son helps me to develop an eternal perspective and that day he comforted me.

What advice do you have for those who are stuck between a rock and a grace place?

In the middle of your own hurt reach out to someone else who needs help worse than you do. When you involve yourself in meeting the needs of others, you discover an unexpected freedom on the inside. Corrie ten Boom once said, “What did you do today that only a Christian would have done?”

As a result of your journey, you and your husband have founded the nonprofit organization Speak Up for Hope. What are the goals of the organization, and how can people get involved?

Our vision: To help inmates and their families adjust to their new normal.

Our mission: We exist to provide hope to inmates and their families through encouragement and resources.

Please go to www.speakupforhope.org for a list of practical ways individuals, churches, and organizations can help with specific projects. Our goal is to live out the truth of Prov. 31:8-9: “Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-and-outers. Speak out for justice. Stand up for the poor and destitute!”

Where may we connect with you further or to purchase a copy of Between a Rock and a Grace Place?

Use the response form on this web site to connect with me. You can purchase a copy of the book at Amazon.

Comments

Carol's strong influence on Christian women

Carol-

I read A NEW KIND OF NORMAL about 2 years ago while working with women in our local chapter of Celebrate Recovery. I was so touched by your courage and your ongoing faith in our God to truly "work all things for good." I introduced the book to a fellow teacher at Celebrate who had had a son who went to jail for a period of time, and she has used the material in the book in many situations. Thank you for your continued transparency and openness before such a large audience! I would so love it if you could come to our community of 38,000 one of these days and speak. I don't know how I find out more about the possibility, but I'm going to begin to pray to this end. You're a soldier of the highest order in our Lord's army!
Judy
Clovis, NM

just what I needed

Carol,
I was just a teenager when your first book was released and I read it from cover to cover in a couple of hours. Then I listened to a New kind of normal on Audio as I faced difficult health issues and it was difficult to keep my eyes open to read. I now look forward to reading this new book. Facing chronic life health issues,had me laying down certain future dreams at the age of 14. A New kind of normal, made me realize I could live a very full life, no matter what the circumstances. And now in my mid-twenties I findmyself in the Need of God's amazing grace in the middle of a new difficult journey. I have come across each of your books, just when I needed them most. and I don't think is by accident. God is in control of all.

Thank-you for sharing your journey- it is both inspiring and encouraging!

Just What I Need

What a precious testimony! Somewhat similar to mine, though my health problems started in my twenties (fibromyalgia) and got steadily worse over the years, picking up new ones. Heart attack at 56, diabetes at 74, and lots of other stuff that renders me almost dysfunctional many days. I still pray for healing but I also accept whatever God allows as He is totally in control and knows what is best for each of us. My real goal is to bring glory to His name, and to be conformed to the image of Christ. He knows what is needed to bring that about. God bless you!!

Thank you

Carol, I wanted to thank you so much for making such a difference in my life. I had read "When I Lay My Isaac Down" and "A New Kind of Normal" years ago not knowing what was ahead for my family. Our beautiful 18 year old daughter was killed in a car accident along with two of her friends. The accident also took the life of a young mother. My husband and I prayed for "Unshakeable Faith in Unspeakable Circumstances" and God has been faithful. Not only has your experience and testimony helped us, but now as we help other parents who have lost children it goes on and on. Thank you so much for using your unspeakable circumstances to help so many.

Thank you

Thank you for your books. I first read, When I Lay My Isaac Down, and I am reading Between a Rock and a Grace Place right now and so far, it has been very uplifting to me. I have felt very lonely and unsupported through my church. Maybe it's just me, or a block that I have personally. They say that they reach out to prisoners and their families, but I haven't felt that personally. When I try to talk to another Christian woman, I feel so much judgment and get so much advice, some feel sorry for my situation, but then I end up feeling alone. I've started journaling a lot. It's nice to hear from someone else who understands. I do know that God is good, and that everything He allows is used to accomplish His purpose. I just wish that I could see more of the good in every situation in life. I praise God that your son has chosen to live for Him each day of his life wherever he is. Tell him I love him and admire him.

I felt alone at church too.

I felt alone at church too. My father had a stroke and I had to assume responsibility for him. Nothing odd about that, many in my age group were experiencing similar issues with elderly parents. What people didn't understand is that my father was verbally abusive to me throughout most of my life. Nothing I said or did pleased him. He said many harsh and rude things that hurt me deeply. People at church said I should "forgive and forget", but how could I forget that sad little child who longed for her daddy's love and acceptance? I felt judged and misunderstood by my church family.

Morally, I could not leave my father to shift for himself after his stroke. He lived alone, so returning home after in-patient rehab was out of the question. I placed him in assisted living, and with his consent put his house up for sale. He remains there to this day. I visit him weekly and make sure he has what he needs. Maybe I've forgiven him, I don't know.

You may have felt alone at church, but...

Don't give up! I hope to speak encouragement to you out of my mother's experience. She also had a very verbally abusive father (both parents, really), in whom she sought (and never quite received) love and acceptance for a lifetime. After refusing to see her for many years, he relocated to the city where she lived and "allowed her" to care for him in her home. There he remained until the time of his death. While he was very unkind, unappreciative and unloving toward her and my father, she simply chose to love and see him as only God can. She sought only to ensure that the characterization of her behavior would lead him one day to give his heart to the Lord. The day did come, shortly before his death!

My mother bore hurt like no one that I have ever seen, yet actively walked out forgiveness to an extent that I didn't think possible. It is quite possible to have that "peace that passes understanding" even in the midst of hurt and hurtful behavior. The Lord gave my mother the strength to endure this lifelong trial, and in the end, the Lord created an opportunity through her loving example to lead her father to Him.

Be encouraged--God's in control, and He will honor your heart and obedience in showing love and forgiveness, especially when someone doesn't deserve it.